“A seeker of silences am I, and what treasure have I found in silences that I may dispense with confidence?” (Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet)
Aging brings treasure in its deepening silence. Birthdays remind us of who we have been and who we continue to be. My latest birthday reminds me of what a fool I've been. Trying to reinvent myself in my twilight years as a wise elder I laugh at what a half-ass character I've been in this play of life. So many missed opportunities to love, so often taking the wrong way from fear, repeatedly falling short in meeting the challenges life has given me. It's truly humbling to observe my lifelong bumbling. Of course, modestly boasting about how humble I am only shows how humble I am not.
Anyway, the other treasure from many birthday greetings is the recognition that despite being a fool I am loved. How sweet it is to realize that we're not expected to be perfect. It's good enough for some who truly care that we're good enough, simply doing the best we can. When I ask, "Can you forgive an old fool?" they say "Yes," and I know that it's okay to be human with all our frailties and I can forgive myself too. This even makes me want to be a better human being in the time remaining, well knowing that I'll still be the same old fool.
Thank you for remembering me on my birthday.